Batman and Robin (1997)

... What can I say about this movie that hasn't been said a billion times over. This movie is just... just...

So many people have reviewed this movie before that I probably will not be saying anything original here. However, to keep with tradition, I'll review it. 

Here's a trailer for you

From the very first line of this movie, you can already tell this movie is going to blow. Just Robin saying, "I want a car, Chicks dig the car" and Batman saying, "this is why Superman works alone." This line says everything about the leads. First it says, Robin is going to be the most annoying motherfucker in the world. Secondly it says that George Clooney is going to give the most lack luster performance he's ever given because he knows A) Val Kilmer didn't want to do this movie, so why the hell am I? B) I'm the only one who's career isn't totally destroyed by this movie. Now I'm not bothered by the fact he mentions Superman as a lot of critics are. Yes Superman exists in that universe and yes it doesn't make sense that he's not there. This is a Batman film though. What good would it do if Superman appeared. This scene is more bothersome because older incarnations of Batman wouldn't say a line like that or be tagging along an annoying as fuck Chris O'Donnell with him. What happened to that Batman?

Basic premise: Batman and Robin team up to fight the team up of Poison Ivy and Mr. Freeze. Mr. Freeze wants to freeze the world, Poison Ivy wants to cover the world with killer plants. All the while, Barbara Wilson(?) the niece of Alfred, Bruce Wayne's butler, comes to visit. Also Alfred is dying by the same disease Mr. Freeze's wife has. Also Poison Ivy has a henchman named Bane (believe me I will get to this) who is basically a steroid induced body guard (oh believe me, I will get to this).

The first big complaint with this movie is the overall mood of the movie. Yes, Batman Forever was a little lighter and a little more kid friendly but it at least looked like they gave a flying fuck. The thing is, this movie could have been paying omage to the very early Bob Kane comic books, you know the ones where Batman and Robin are playing baseball? But even if it was, which it's not, why would you pay omage to that? yes it was a piece of Batman history but it's not something that needs to be remembered on film. Also, the whole feeling of Batman in this movie is brought into the open. No longer is Batman a superhero of the shadows, he's just a superhero. This movie forgot the one thing that makes Batman awesome, the fact he has no powers. This movie tried to make him seem super, even though Batman doesn't need to be super to be an awesome hero. But I think one of the greatest insults is summed up in this video.